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today was about organizing, cleaning my house, hanging with the dog babies, and trying to feel all the way better. according to facebook's memories feauture, i feel guacala come every january. dreaded pinche allergies. 
i've been in hermit crab mode and it feels sooooo good. leaving the house just when i have to. it's a rarity for me!

so i'm laying down, doing work on my phone (no, really!) and i realize it's time for the babes to eat. i come to my studio where the door to the backyard is and bring the big baby, Pago (pronounced like pango with a very soft g), and yoshimoto. Pago is the gentle giant of our bunch. he legit reminds me of James Earl Jones, he's such an old soul and has a great, soft personality. then comes yoshimoto ... my original baby, the only dog in my life that i'm 100% responsible for, and the biggest necio of my life. he struts in and then i see it... he's covered in mud. NOT just on his paws, which is a annoying but normal thing, but all over his little chubby body. 

AND. THEN. I. SMELL. IT. 
my dog rolled around in poop. 
his shower turned into OUR shower which turned into me stumbling down, landing on my booty wearing leggings and socks. 

a little breakdown in numbers: 

3 - the number of dogs in my household (i didn't tell you about the tiniest of our bunch, Chico, who's also the bully of the house) 
2 - naila and swucio, the other fur babies in my life that do not live with me, but i see on the regular. 
8 - the number of years yoshi has been my main dog bae 
5 - the number of times i had to wash and rinse and rewash yoshi after poop adventure of 2016 
2- the number of collars yoshi was wearing during poop-gate2k16 that I now have to wash because they smell like the worst thing ever
0 - the number of balls he has. 
the limit does not exist- the number of things yoshimoto has ruined in his short little life is beyond me. he once made himself a doggie door from my bedroom to the laundry room because apparently this nice, spacious area just isn't enough for him. shoes... he once ruined a beautiful pair of new leather boots. he thought them best as chew toys. he once had to be picked up early from the groomer's because they just couldn't deal. he once pooped in a kennel at the vet. he once chased a lady in an electric wheelchair down the street. he has MANY MANY times made me chase him slowly in my car, begging him to come in, in front of all my neighbors that i've known my entire life. 

he's all mine, and although my sister takes such great great great care of him, ultimately i'm his mom. mijo is a necio who likes to roll around in poop. 

hello again. how are you? 
I miss you lots. 

1. it's a new year and with that comes so many ideas, so much reflection on the year past, and lots and lots of promise of better/bigger. i like the romanticized idea of resolutions. they get a lot of hate by, well, everyone ... pero I remain hopeful. sometimes my resolutions are simple: keep purse clean, stop running out of gas, walk more. sometimes they're so big, so broad, so revolutionary, like a book that keeps me thinking-- i have to close them, and then revisit at a later time. this is a latter kind of year. REVOLUTIONS! 

2. my boo turned 30 at the end of december. there were so many ideas of what to do to commemorate this grand transition, pero like things happen sometimes, shit got in the way. specifically car/money shit. so mexico turned into an out of state trip and that turned into a trek across Tejas and then finally we settled on taking a day trip to Austin. we stopped at Buc-ee's for gas and clean restrooms. (tbh, i kind of hate it. it reminds me of Walmart, pero the restrooms are always clean.... y pos nomas.) 
on our way out to the car, i looked down at my phone, checking our exit in atx. a car sped behind me and the man inside yelled, "Hurry up, fat ass!". this has never happened to me. not in San Anto, not anywhere. i was left a little speechless. yes, soy gordita, pero in my book that is not a bad thing. i initially thought to tell V about it, but i didn't want to ruin a good time. y sabes que? it didn't REALLY bother me. i was heading towards my love, ready to continue the celebration of her (b)earthday, on our way out of our beloved city, ready for a day of adventure. i almost felt bad for him. like, pobre guey, way to try and ruin someone's day. what's lacking in his life? 
doesn't matter. i felt really beautiful that day. i feel really beautiful today.  

3. it's been a hard thing for me to admit, but i think i have lost someone really important. a friend. someone i've known for nearly 20 years. not exactly sure what happened, but i feel guilty about it. like, something in me tells me this was my fault, perhaps i was too neglectful a friend last year. i was busy. i was hella hella busy. i fell in love. i put myself first a lot. something i didn't do ever. 
and somehow the text messages i sent got fewer and fewer replies, invitations to things didn't get a response, visits stopped ... I miss him. 
i've asked what is wrong. i've asked what i could do to resolve this all. no answers there either. y i can't really blame him. nor can i force him to love me or be my friend again. it hurts hella hella gacho. i usually find it very easy to walk away from things that are done, but this is very different. 

4. are you ever afraid of your own light?
for the last couple years i have been so scared to take my little tiendita online. pero this last season has been so affirming. i got a little press, i got a little light, i got a little guts. y con eso, i'm happily and steadily working on taking my little pop up online for reals this time. are you ready? i think i am. also! i had tote bags for the holidays and those little precious babies sold out. i cried. if we had any kind of interaction over the last six months, please know that i'm so grateful. that the second half of 2015 was nothing short of a miracle for me, in so many ways. and still, i rise. 

5. "Speaking the truth with eloquent thunder." 
i saw that somewhere during our trip and i thought of so many of the strong, chingona mujeres in my life. the women that work endlessly on making our community, our city, our land better. the women that seek and demand justice.  the women that make beautiful arte, that heal, that inspire. 
i am surrounded by so much beauty and power and HUMOR like all the time.
they speak the truth with eloquent thunder. 
y por ellas, yo sigo. 

It's been a long time, are you still there?

1. I haven't written to you in a long time, but I'm still here! And I'm 33 now. I've read and heard that thirty three is supposed to be a really transformative year. A year of growth and renewal and finding out who the fuck I'm really supposed to be. So far, so good. I have a 33 list, I'll share that with you later, but one of the things is to go camping for the first time. Like a chingona camping trip at Enchanted Rock when it's not hot. Do you wanna come? I don't even know where to start.

2. I'm currently sitting and typing at CommonWealth Coffeehouse & Bakery and it's so cute and so fancy and the coffee is so good. So so so. + I'm sitting on a couch that very much resembles the one one Friends. Where's Smelly Cat? 
What kills me about these kinds of places (Rosella, Halcyon, etc) is that they're nowhere near the hood. One day I'll open up a panaderia/coffee shop that plays cumbias and boleros and is smack in the middle of the South Side. I can't wait.

3. I've been thinking a lot about VeryThat and what it's become and where I want it to go. Are you ready? I am. I wanna take it all the way back to where I started with my odd and end accessories, and those cool ass magnets I used to make, loteria sets, etc and then bring it all the way to the work I'm doing now with tiles and graphics. Hecho a mano love. 

4. I have so much to do in the next few weeks. My list is scary long, pero I'm ready to tackle it. I was freaking out over the last couple days, but today I was reminded that everything I've have been confronted with has been survived. I'm a survivor (I'm not gon give up). So as I start this week and look at closing out this month with my ever growing scary list, I KNOW I'm going to tackle it down and do it well. I got this. You got this. 

5. Having said that, I'm looking forward to next month! I want to take a road trip somewhere far and beautiful. Perhaps California. I've never been, can you even believe it? Wanna come with me? Want to spin around like you're about to hit a piñata and walk towards a map and just point? Want to climb in my car with just a few things in tow, gas money, and some wanderlust? Let's go. 

Go to go, love you.
Cristina <3 

De la Sierra Morena 
cielito lindo, vienen bajando,
Un par de ojitos negros,
cielito lindo, de contrabando.

Ese lunar que tienes,
cielito lindo, junto a la boca,
No se lo des a nadie,
cielito lindo, que a mí me toca 

Cielito Lindo has been sung to me all my life because I have a lunar junto a mi boca (dos!). Legend goes, my Tia Chaparra passed hers onto me when I was born and she gave newborn Cristina a kiss. Oti has the same lunar <3. 

I have an obsession with madrugada serenades. This comes from a childhood that didn't allow kids to handle the remote control.  One day I'll be woken up by my partner singing with mariachi on my front yard, actually I prefer a trio. If they’re really brilliant, it'll be with Eva Ybarra on the accordion.  Note to self to start investing in effortless silk kimonos so I can peek out of the window looking extra fly. It's a shame I don't have two story house with a balcony, though. God, I hope Yoshimoto behaves himself. 

Once upon a time my sister, Laura, learned this on on her guitar for me. All the way from South Korea!  I got a midnight phone call on my birthday and she sung it as she fumbled through strings. It was the sweetest gift I've ever received. Laura has always made the greatest effort to make me feel special, make me feel loved, make me feel supported. Even when we are at each other's throats, and that has been many a time, I've always known she is one of my greatest supporters and one of my greatest loves. 

Today I'm wishing that Laura starts planning a trip home for the holidays, I want her HERE wrapped in a big red bow. I miss my sister so much, probably more than when she lived a million miles away. Funny enough, she's not all that far now and I miss her more than ever. Phone calls are easier, texts are frequent, and she is constantly helping me navigate this life-- but I can't wait til she's here and we're sitting on my porch talking about anything and everything. 
Te hecho de menos, pecosita :(